Straight Men's Pro-Gay Anger: F---ing Get Used To It, You Bigoted A--!

Note: Different recipes call for different ingredients. This one's a little salty.

 You don't think attitudes about gay marriage are seismically changing? Meet Brendon Ayanbadejo. The NFL linebacker is 36, he's black, and he's badass. Swear to god he named his kid Amadeus Prime Ayanbadejo. You do not fuck with him. 

Brendon loves gay marriage. He wrote about it for Huff Post. And he made an ad about it for Marylanders for Marriage Equality.

Baltimore County state delegate Emmett Burns hates gay marriage so much that the 72 year-old black Democrat is not supporting Obama's re-election. And last week he wrote a letter to Ravens team owner Steve Bisciotti to say, basically, muzzle your bitch:

"I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo, would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically as a Ravens football player," Burns writes.

"I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions. I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing."

The technical football term here is Whoopsie daisy.

Enter 30 year-old white boy Chris Kluwe, punter for the Vikings, who shared his feelings in an open letter to Delegate Burns:

"I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole."

More from Chris:

"Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"?" 

More:

"...not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit."

The most quoted parts of Chris's letter addresses the potential cockmonster within:

"If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" ... I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?"

The full letter is more rambling, and more arrogant ("you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words"). Do not waste time worrying about the tone. Blunt, aggressive vulgarity is how one segment of the population talks to each other. We're never going to win this fight if we're limited to the bleached, offend-nobody monotone of NPR and PBS.

For his part, Ayanbadejo responded to Burns' attempt to silence him by tweeting: "Football is just my job it's not who I am. I am an American before anything. And just like every American I have the right to speak!!!"

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